its been a while, good ol' blog.
I have a car now, woo.
I kindof had a crappy day.
it's one of those days that is just akward and uncomfortable and you feel like everyone is watching everything you do and everything you encounter is just too akward for you to handle and you just wanna go home and go back to bed.
and on days like this I always start to think about myself.
and when I think about myself, it's usualy negative.
I start to think how akward I am and how annoying I must seem and how much I don't belong in this school and how much the people at this school dont like me and how whiny and pathetic I am.
and then I start whining about how whiny I am.
basically, I am a pathetic mess and it effects everyone around me no matter how hard I try to stop it.
and when I get like this I feel more shy.
and when I feel more shy I start staring and giving people strange looks and acting akward.
and people think that I don't like them or I'm arrogent or whatever.
when really I'm just too shy.
and then I try to not be so shy and I start sounding like a cocky asshole and before I know it I've made somebody else feel like crap or made myself look like an ass.
and I try so hard not to do things compulsively, but it just results in making everything that much worse and more akward.
sigh.
why do you bother to put up with me sometimes?
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man, i 'put up with you', cause you're fricken awesome. you chill with dumb me in a practice room and just play music. you are awesome man, don't get down on yourself. we all are in the same boat you know? we all deal with the same struggles and temptations, but we have to be there for each other. i'm always here for you man, don't let the world talk bad about you, you're a child of gods.
ReplyDeletepeace my man.
i don't put up with you, i enjoy you. i don't want to be in a relationship with someone that i have to 'put up with'.
ReplyDeletei love you for all of the good, and bad things that exist about you. that's what people who care do.
and you're not any of those things listed, so chew on that. :)